If anyone can make potty training feel less like a war of attrition and more like a rite of passage worth surviving, it’s Kylie Kelce.
Mom of four, perpetual encourager, and self-described member of the potty training trenches, Kylie sat down with us to talk about what it’s really like to navigate the Pull-Ups years with humor, grace, and zero interest in the naked weekend method.
From treat-motivated toddlers to the unmistakable “pee-pee” dance, she shared the hard-won wisdom that’s carried her through three potty training journeys (with baby Finn’s on the horizon), plus her honest thoughts on making sure there’s still something left in your cup at the end of a very long day.
Scary Mommy: You have multiple kids at different stages. Does potty training get easier the more times you do it, or does each kid just find a completely new way to humble you?
Kylie Kelce: They have all experienced potty training differently. We try to keep things consistent, but they’ve all latched on to a different aspect of it in a stronger way. Our oldest loved the treats — she loves a training treat, and it’s helpful because she likes positive reinforcement.
Our second was big on timers because she needs a reminder, just like her mom. And then our third was all about watching her physical cues, because she is the queen of the “pee-pee” dance. Every so often, I’m just like, “Why are you wiggling?” And she will literally tell me, “I’m dancing.” And I’m like, “No, you’re not. You need to pee. Go upstairs.” They have gotten increasingly easier, but only because they want to be like their older sister. There are more role models in the house ahead of them. I’m hoping Finn just starts getting on the potty by herself, but we’ll wait and see.
SM: The learning layer in Pull-Ups is designed to help kids feel the difference between wet and dry, so accidents become learning moments. Did that concept resonate with anything you’d already been trying at home?
KK: It makes a lot of sense, specifically because when they were still diapered, the whole point is to get the moisture off their skin. So the opportunity for them to feel wet for a little while, a little uncomfortable, and know the difference between wet and dry was something they really needed to learn, and it’s not something that just comes naturally. The idea that they’ll get that sensation and think, “I don’t know if I want to feel that again,” and then be convinced to try the potty next time, that’s really exciting to me. I wish it had been around when Wyatt and Ellie were being potty-trained, but we have it now, so onward and upward.
SM: What would you tell a parent who’s deep in the trenches of potty training?
KK: “We got this!” And we’re going to say it until we’re done. One day our children will be potty-trained, and it’s probably not going to be an overnight situation. The overnights took longer than the days for us. During the day, you can watch them do the “pee” dance, you can set the timers, but at night, it really is about following their lead.
We’re in the trenches with you. If you think it’s only you suffering, convince yourself: no, the Kelces are also suffering. And if that makes you feel better, I’m happy for it.
SM: Potty training is one of those topics where everyone has an opinion. What’s the most ridiculous piece of advice someone gave you?
KK: We were not candidates for the naked weekend. I have dogs, and I know that sensation when your socks get wet, for dogs, I can rationalize, it happens once in a blue moon now that they’re house trained. The idea of that happening, and it being from my child? Hard pass.
We were not going to be participating in the naked weekend. Finn will not be a candidate either. That’s actually yet another reason why the learning layer makes so much sense. It’s still that uncomfortable feeling of having an accident, but contained. We can learn from it without, you know, the whole situation.
SM: Switching gears! How do you keep motherhood from totally consuming you?
KK: It’s so important as mothers to make sure we don’t lose ourselves completely. We were someone before we had children, and we need to continue to be that person in some capacity. One day they’re going to leave the nest … I think finding the time to be yourself, to refill your own cup, makes you a better mom.
When I get out of the house and do something independently, I go back with more patience. And honestly, it’s pretty cool when you walk back in, and you have a whole cheering squad. It’s amazing to be a mom. It is the most rewarding, difficult job I’ve ever had. And I wouldn’t give it up for anything.
SM: You clearly show up fully for your kids. How do you make sure there’s still something left for yourself at the end of the day?
KK: I try to listen to my inner thoughts. Some days your kids are going to give you “yes, mom, please, mom, thank you, mom” … and those days, five or ten minutes of quiet time might be enough. But other days it’s a full moon, maybe they were up at 2 am, maybe you’re running on empty, and that day you might need 30 minutes, an hour, two hours.
Listening to yourself and recognizing, “My patience is at zero, and it’s actually more beneficial if I take 20 minutes,” is so important. And don’t have guilt about it. When you come back, you can be fully engaged, more patient, and better for everyone. It’s not just that it feels better for you. It feels better for everyone. That’s the key.
This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.
