In a world where leadership is often mistakenly understood as a position of control, I’ve found that true impact comes from service—leading not from above, but alongside your team to achieve success.
This point was driven home about 15 years ago, when I made a resolution to read more books. Since starting this journey, one book stood out and shaped my leadership style more than any other: The Way of The Sheperd. It resonated with me so much that I even named my youngest son, Shep, after it.
This book takes readers through core principles of servant leadership and outlines a leadership plan that showcases how true influence comes not from authority, but from trust, empathy, and a genuine devotion to the growth and well-being of your team. I reread this book once a year to remind myself that the most effective leaders are ones who lead with compassion, understand what motivates each team member, and empower everyone to hold themselves accountable.
It underscores how a leader can’t manage what they don’t know, and how too many well-intentioned leaders focus solely on performance rather than their people. These lessons have influenced the way I lead, inspiring me to prioritize building trust and authentic connections with our team. At Kendra Scott, I make it a point to ensure everyone has direct access to me—my email is always open—and I encourage team members to reach out or schedule time to discuss anything on their minds.
Company connections
We’ve also established a tradition of celebrating the meaningful connections within our company. For the past 9 years, we’ve passed down the shepherd’s staff. The tradition involves the current holder receiving the staff and keeping it for a set period of time before nominating someone else at the next family meeting. They share how this person has impacted them, add a meaningful token to the staff, and pass it on to the new nominee. The cycle continues from there. This simple yet powerful practice has reinforced our culture and the importance of the connections we share with one another.
However, this modern leadership philosophy wasn’t one that always came naturally to me. Growing up, my life was all about sports, which helped me become the first in my family to go to college. The competitive mindset required for sports can sometimes be too focused on the individual. But the real lesson I took away, doing whatever it takes with your team to win, shaped my early approach to leadership.
3 things I know
As I moved into the business world and started working with founders like Ralph Lauren and Kendra Scott, I began to see how personal their connection to their companies was. That shifted my approach to leadership, and I started to focus more on building trust and creating a more supportive, nurturing environment for my team.
Here are three things I know now:
- Fostering a sense of purpose leads to stronger performance
Investing in your team and infusing every position with importance helps to instill passion and purpose in your employees. Every employee should be empowered to feel as if they represent a brand’s vision. This authentic connection fuels productivity and drives success.
- Making mistakes can be your biggest asset
You learn the most through your mistakes. In those moments, the best lessons come from acknowledgement and accountability. As a leader, being transparent and vulnerable about your own missteps can set a tone that not only enhance company culture, but also make employees feel secure in taking risks.
- The importance of leading with a learner’s heart
Great leaders are great learners. No one has all of the answers, regardless of their position in an organization. That’s why it’s important to maintain a culture of continuous learning and collaboration. The more you learn, the more tools and opportunities you have.
In the end, leaders can’t be successful without their team, and leadership isn’t about control, power, or having all the answers. It’s about showing up for your people, creating space for them to grow, and demonstrating humility through it all. Whether it’s by reading a book about servant leadership or establishing supportive methods, I’ve learned that true leaders are those who cultivate intentional connections with their employees. There is still much to learn, and my journey is still unfolding, but one thing I know to be true is that leading with trust and empathy is the type of legacy worth leaving.
Tom Nolan is CEO of Kendra Scott.
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