Raise your hand if you’ve ever thought, “Wow, this is the worst time for an HS flare.” (Although if your armpit is one of your usual spots, even raising your hand can feel a little ambitious.) There’s something especially rude about one showing up when you’re a mom running on three hours of sleep, someone’s yelling that they can’t find their left sneaker while you’re trying to get out the door, and you’re simultaneously carrying a toddler, a backpack, and approximately 34 open mental tabs before it’s even 8 a.m.
Moms with the chronic inflammatory skin condition hidradenitis suppurativa (HS) — which can cause painful, boil-like bumps in areas where skin rubs together, like the armpits and groin — are all too familiar with the drill: You still have to drop off the kids at school. You still have to crouch on the bathroom floor to give them a bath. You still have to sit through dance recital rehearsals in clothes that suddenly feel like sandpaper. HS doesn’t exactly care that your life is busy.
And while there’s no magical “just do this!” solution, there are small, realistic strategies that can make day-to-day life feel a little more manageable when there are tiny humans who depend on you.
1. Build Your Outfit Around Comfort
We bet you have clothes in your closet that technically fit, but the second you start moving around in them during an HS flare-up, your immediate instinct is to rip them off. Unfortunately, society still frowns upon naked grocery runs.
According to Dr. Carlos Vieira, MD, a board-certified dermatologist at The Dermatology Specialists in Philadelphia, friction, trapped sweat, and moisture retention are some of the biggest aggravators for HS — “the perfect storm for a super mom on the go,” as he puts it. “HS tends to occur in areas of the body that are rich in apocrine glands, commonly found in skinfolds,” he explains. “Areas like the armpits and groin are also hotspots for skin rubbing, sweat trapping, and moisture retention.”
In other words: The wrong bra can derail your entire mood faster than hearing “Mommmm?” through a locked bathroom door. Instead of forcing yourself into irritating fabrics because they’re “cuter” or more supportive, think comfort-first. The good news? Being comfortable doesn’t mean sacrificing personal style. Think of it more as a strategic approach to the layers closest to your skin. Vieira recommends seamless underwear and wireless bras. From there, choose looser-fitting clothing in breathable fabrics like bamboo and 100% cotton that minimize rubbing, trapped sweat, and overheating.
And if you’ve had HS for a while, you probably already know exactly which leggings become torture devices after two hours. Consistently choosing low-friction, breathable basics — even between flare-ups — can help reduce irritation before it starts.
2. Add Tiny “Cooling Off” Rituals Into Your Day
Moms are basically in a constant state of sweat, no matter the weather. Someone’s climbing on you, you’re hauling bags and a car seat at the same time, and your older kid is begging you to kick the soccer ball around while you’re literally nursing the baby.
Unfortunately, sweat and heat can be major triggers for HS. But managing that doesn’t have to involve an elaborate wellness routine or daily ice baths (as if moms regularly have that kind of leisure time). Think smaller and more practical: keeping a change of underwear in your bag after a sweaty playground trip, stashing a mini clip-on fan in the stroller caddy before a summer soccer game, or ducking into the air conditioning for five minutes before your skin hits its breaking point.
For breastfeeding moms, cooling down can be especially tricky when you’ve basically got another tiny heat source attached to your body for hours a day. Vieira recommends reducing clothing layers when possible and finding a cool, dry room during feedings. “Lay a cotton cloth over the exposed areas of the breast to help absorb excess moisture from being overheated from skin-on-skin contact,” he says.
3. Avoid Trying To “Push Through”
Moms are really good at pretending they’re “fine.” But HS doesn’t really take into account how high-functioning you are — it’ll humble you anyway. “HS flares can be very painful and limit your ability to participate in activities of daily life,” says Vieira. And unfortunately, stress itself can make things worse. “Stress can contribute to spikes in cortisol levels,” he explains. “Over time, this encourages a pro-inflammatory state that may worsen or increase the frequency of flares in HS.”
Which, to be clear, is not your cue to simply “stress less.” If moms could cross stress off their to-do list, wouldn’t we have all done that by now?
But it is a reminder that tiny pressure-release valves matter. That might mean ordering takeout on flare days instead of cooking. Let your kids watch an extra episode of TV while you sit down. Ask your partner to handle bath time because lifting your arms hurts. Sit in the car for 10 extra minutes after school drop-off just to decompress in silence before diving into work emails. Not because you’re lazy or failing, but because constantly overriding pain usually backfires.
Taking breaks also gives yourself permission to acknowledge that HS is exhausting — physically and mentally. You’re managing pain, discomfort, drainage, clothing logistics, body image issues, and still trying to show up for your family. That’s a lot for one person to carry (even before someone asks what’s for dinner).
4. Let Your Kids See You Take Care Of Yourself
Some moms with HS might try to hide the bandages, pain, and exhaustion from their kids. Sometimes it simply feels easier to power through than explain why you suddenly can’t pick up your kiddo or why you need to take a breather. But there’s also something powerful about normalizing the idea that bodies sometimes need extra TLC.
According to Vieira, simple, neutral language usually works best for younger children. He recommends describing HS as “bumps that come and go,” while reassuring kids that it’s not contagious and no one caused it. For older kids, more open conversations can help reduce the shame around the experience and make it feel less mysterious or scary. That can sound as simple as: “Mom has a skin condition where my immune system gets a little overreactive sometimes. It can hurt and make me tired, but I’m okay, and doctors help me manage it,” says Vieira.
And maybe that’s part of the bigger lesson here: Your kids do not need to see a version of motherhood that never struggles, never rests, and never needs help. They can see you change into softer clothes because your skin hurts today. They can see you take a break instead of pushing through pain for the hundredth time. They can see you care for yourself with the same compassion you give everyone else in the house. Taking some of the mystery out of HS can also ease the pressure on you. If your kids grow up seeing body care as totally normal? That’s a parenting win right there.
Presented by BDG Studios
