Divorced Men Love To Breadcrumb And
I was enjoying a little shut eye the other night while bad reality television hummed in the background when I got a little ping. I opened one eye to make sure it wasn’t one of my kids. It wasn’t and unfortunately I can’t get that precious second of my life back back, because when I saw who it was, I literally grabbed my phone and said, “What the actual fuck,” so loud I also woke up my dog.
It was one of … my latest breadcrumb supplier. Little does he know he is doing what so many other men do and he doesn’t stand out. At all.
If you’re a divorced woman who’s dating you already know that breadcrumbing is more common than men holding fish in their profile pictures and who write that he “runs of sarcasm.”
If the term is new to you, I’m talking about a grown man who texts just enough to try and keep women guessing and confused and wondering what his intentions are.
The thing is, I know what his intentions are. To keep me guessing and confused as he gets a little bit of attention. At this point it’s the official language of middle-aged men.
When I started recognizing this pattern from mediocre men who were cargo pants and are pretty good about sending “good morning, beautiful” texts, I kept giving them chances. I’d respond, then they’d disappear for weeks.
I thought maybe they were going through a hard time or were afraid of rejection or just really busy. Because why on earth would someone keep sending me texts wanting to know what I was doing and telling me how attractive I was if they weren’t interested?
I mean, I’d have to feel pretty pathetic and bored and starved for attention if I did that just to get a little slice of interaction.
For a while there I thought it was me. That there must be something about me that screamed, “Please text me because I’m lost without you. I don’t care if I respond and you don’t say anything for a week then pop back in to say you miss me. I’ll take it!”
Turns out this is a thing that men do now. And I will die on this hill: They do it to keep a roster of women to see who will reply because they need validation since they know they can’t show up as a good partner for anyone.
At first my friends and I started talking about it. Then I started seeing social media blow up with posts from women explaining that these guys text, never ask them out, then watch their Instagram stories immediately.
If that doesn’t spell “I’m a lazy turd sitting on my sofa scrolling and watching women who would dump me in two seconds once they really got to know me” I don’t know what does.
I know some of you are thinking, Well he’s just not into you if he’s doing that.
Yeah, no shit. I know.
We now live in a time when men are making a living sitting in their cars, telling women what men will act like when they are interested.
The only cure is to ignore these men. The pop-in text means he’s bored. Making a date then not confirming and following through means he’s a piece of shit. And the “Good morning, beautiful, I miss you,” text he sends when he could actually ask you on a date and, I don’t know, see you, is its own special kind of chaos.
So unless you’re interested in a bored man who treats emotional confusion like a hobby, ignore the texts. Hold out for a grown man who knows how to make plans–not just a cameo appearance in your notifications.
